Read, Write, Run, Roam

The Disneyfication of…the liquor aisle?!

Whitney Houston reminded us that “…children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” But I don’t think she was talking about baby champagne. This was seen at the Maxi on Sarajevska Street in Belgrade.

I’m not a parent, or even an aunt, but seriously?! Champagne for kids? It’s non-alcoholic, but still…isn’t beer for dogs weird enough? I know children like to copy their parents, yet it’s not like Serbian parents drink lots of champagne at home. If anything, Disney should be making two-liter bottles of Princess Jasmine Jelen or Rapunzel Rakija. Even I would consider buying that.

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At first I was surprised that Disney would promote alcohol consumption for children. Then I thought that there might be some benefit to it. Little ladies will face serious disappointment if they think life is like a fairy tale. Fake booze can really take the edge off when you expect a pony for your sixth birthday but you get your sister’s hand-me-down bike instead. Not that I speak from experience.

Disney booze can also help parents re-enact hip hop videos starring children. Come on, what parent hasn’t wanted their kids to experience the decadent life of champagne, back-beats, and scantily clad women?

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FACT: I have always wanted to see a champagne fountain. Why deny a child this experience?

While Beogradjani enjoy their liquor, it’s hard to believe that they buy fake champagne with cartoon characters on it. If anything, they’re more likely to employ the Mama RHOB method: let a child sip your wine, make a terrible face, and end the discussion. The drinking age is 18 here (and loosely enforced), so it’s not like little Nada has to wait that long to sip the real, far better stuff. But considering America’s love/hate relationship with alcohol, I suspect it will be a hit in the U.S. Maybe I won’t have to wait too long to see that bubbly fountain in action…


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